I just saw a message, sort of like inviting me to a birthday function, come sept 7, which is like next week.

Then I saw who sent it to me. It was a friend of old. Back from the high school days. Asking me to join some sort of a surprise party for another friend of mine. Then I wondered.

Should I go?

Usually anyone in my place would say yes because, one, it is near my house and two, it is for a friend.

Why I started with "usually" ? It is because I am going to reject the offer.

One, I am having plans to visit my ultra-close friend in Subang Jaya as she is returning to Russia for her medical studies and will not be back in a year.
Two, I don’t actually think that my friends here would even give a damn whether I am there or not. To them, it doesn’t make ANY difference. I am just an extra, a lamp post, statue or whatever metaphorical term used to describe someone’s purpose there is to just watch and be ignored.

There or not, I would not be even close to being on anyone’s radar here in Seremban. Truth is, I am already sick the way they’re treating me which is like the BN towards this country. Now when they even read this, they will start to pay no attention to me because I "defaced" them.

You see, I am a hypocrite. And everyone is even if they don’t admit it. I am no saint. Neither are they. I admit, I cannot keep track of all my friends due to communication constraints. And sometimes, I tend to forget because I don’t just have two or three friends in this life, no. I have many. And as we move on, we forget the old and bring in the new. I try my best not to be one although I maybe already in that region.

I am not even there, fine. I don’t have a licence to travel, fine. I need my parents’ permission to travel, fine. I don’t have much freedom, fine. I am not rich or loaded, fine. I don’t have popular, upper class friends, fine.

But after all that, they have yet to understand. I am not like them. I don’t have their freedom. I don’t have their money. And I don’t have their parents. And I don’t have fancy cars or motorcycles or fancy hairdo and tattoos and earrings. And no expensive education either.

And I don’t care.

But do they? I don’t know.

I have already retreated to the shadows of their mind. I am just waiting my presence there to be rendered to dust and hopefully, swept away by time.

Alright, call me negative but, such is reality. I don’t get what I want. And nothing just seem to happen the way you want it to.

Even after all this, I may even receive a "Really? You can’t make it? Some other time then… *beep* *beep* "

Signing off with a no to the invitation (If they ever read this). I’ll probably tell them myself.